Saw the ex-wife last week

Saw the ex-wife last week.  We kept our distance.  I really did not have much to say. 

Whatever attraction or love there was is gone.  I had no desire to reunite or any real interest in her well- being or anything else about her.

It is strange, once I would have killed for her.  Now there is apathy and indifference.  Not long ago there was anger.

What I saw was a woman who talks too much and had not much to say.  I say a fifty year old who once was a beauty and now is a pretty average looking menopausal woman.  I guess she will end up looking like her mother.  I saw the bad traits and not the good.

If I saw her on a dating site I probably would not pursue her.  I don’t think she would survive the first date with me.  She does have some talents, but those are not obvious.

I sometimes think of what once was and what could have been.  It is good when someone has your back unconditionally.  I think my children enjoyed family time together (usually).  Family, stability and security are things I value.  This divorce has damaged my family.  My oldest son came home from college this weekend.  He never saw his mother.  He said he would see her next time.  She does not appear to be that relevant to their lives.

I am sure my indifference shows through.  Not sure if this is healthy or not for my sons.  It is what it is.  How is that for a cliché?  I really do not like to lie or fake something that is not there.  She is not worth it.

Now she is the queen of Batavia and Clermont County.  A nurse with a purse probably looks pretty good to a guy 10 years her senior,with no assets, and health problems.