An Internet WTF moment

It is a strange world we live in for a simple guy from Lake Wobegon.  The Internet is kind of the wild west.  Dating sites are part of that frontier. I am part of that wild west.

A little back story.  I have been dating Barb for 5 months.  She is very sweet but perhaps spread a little thin with too many obligations.   We had a pretty good weekend.  Went out Saturday night to an interesting restaurant, The Senate with her twin sister, her husband and another couple.  Had some great margaritas at Bakersfield prior to dinner.  It was a good time but I think Barb may have been over-served and wanted to go home after dinner.  She was falling asleep in the car.  She had promised to take her father to church in the morning.  I digress....

She came over on Sunday afternoon.  We took a long walk with Dusty, 5 miles (I am going to get into shape if it kills me)!. We watched some basketball.  She cooked me crab legs and asparagus.  I was really hoping to get lucky, but it got late. She needs to be up at 5:15 a.m. for her job.  Perhaps poor planning on my part.  It did not seem too late for me. She left somewhat abruptly leaving me a feeling a little neglected, horny and bored.  It would have been a great weekend if I got laid.  But I digress...

So what does one do if feeling neglected lonely and bored?  Get on the internet.  I have been off the dating sites for four or five months.  I have generally been pretty content, which is probably not my natural state.  My least favorite site was POF but it is free.  I am not sure that I ever actually went on a date from anyone from that site.  Met a couple of women for a drink.  Communicated with some that never seemed to go anywhere.  Nonetheless it is free to look around.  But I digress....

The first thing that struck me is that many of the same women are on there that were there six months ago.  These women were probably there last year too.  You see many of the same pictures on Match.com.  Many complain of serial daters but apparently have made little progress in the past year.  I appreciate it is challenging out there in the wild west.  Not sure if it is lack of qualified candidates, lack of time, or too high of standards or perhaps just a pain in the ass.  But I digress.....

Now for my WTF moment..  About 5 pages in I saw the below post.  My name is in the headline!  WTF?

I read the profile.  An purportedly attractive woman with no picture.  Perhaps she is looking for a different David B,. Hanna?

No, I am pretty sure that is directed to me.  Purportedly from Anderson Township and is into Corvettes, motorcycles and dogs.  Someone who knows my vices and my name.

I like my privacy and do not readily share my name until things actually develop into a date.

Now the wheels in my head are spinning.  Is this a complete setup?  What is the motive?  How long has this been out there?

Not sure that I get the inside joke about snoring and farting.  The ex used to snore a lot.  I probably snore some and I do occasionally fart.  A teacher?  Named Stacy or Tabitha?  In tip top shape?  Speaks Spanish?

Did I piss someone off (more than my normal INTJ behavior)?

Is the ex up to something?  Doesn't seem like her style.  However, she is passive agressive.  After some of our divorce battles I doubt she wants to start another one.  No longer in tip top shape.  Perhaps after a some wine with her friends this is what they came up with?

Theresa?  She was pretty unbalanced and sent me nasty texts after we broke up.  Theresa, we never slept together and I elected to end it before it really got started.  She did seem pretty infatuated with me for some reason.  I don't think so.

Roger, the idiot?  He has been trying to befriend me and claims he knows single women in Anderson who I really should meet.

One of the neighbors friends?  She has been a little cool to me lately.

I did exchange some emails with a teacher from Anderson and she had red hair.  But she had young children.  Not sure I ever gave her my full name.  Her name was Linda, not Stacy.  She seemed nice and then disappeared.

A test from Barb or one of her friends?  I don't think it is her style.

A legitimate secret admirer?  I am skeptical.

Hmmm.... I googled my name and POF here it is.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=71680390

Again, I say, WTF?

Life is short

Lines

The ulitmate playlist?

I really like music.  It moves me.  Some music makes me think.  Some is fun and but makes no sense.  I love the a primal beat in a blues guitar riff.  I love great lyrics.  It is poetry on steroids.

I have been known to create a petty good playlist.  Let it be known that this talent started back in cassette era.  Now I have Itunes, a pretty good library, playlists and CD's.  Great weapons for creating a playlist.

The John Cusack movie High Fidelity is one of my all time favorites.  I would like to think that he and I think similarly.  Perhaps it is Nick Hornby who I relate to as he actually wrote the book.    I have read some of his other books and enjoyed them.

Rob: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

 Rob: The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules. Anyway... I've started to make a tape... in my head...

 Rob: It made sense to pool our collective loathing for the opposite sex, and while we were at it, you get to share a bed with somebody at the same time. We were frightened of being left alone for the rest of our lives. Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26, and we were of that disposition.


Dick: I guess it looks as if you're reorganizing your records. What is this though? Chronological?
Rob: No...
Dick: Not alphabetical...
Rob: Nope...
Dick: What?
Rob: Autobiographical.
Dick: No fucking way.

Anyway, I digress....

There was a point in my relationship with the ex where I realized that this marriage/partnership is gone. I can be more than a little dense when it comes to understanding other people, particularly women.  I am not a mind reader.  Nonetheless, when I found her special phone/hotline to her mentor/boss and  lover Ray Lambert I knew that I was well past that point.  I was already skeptical that this could end well and my patience was already incredibly thin.  Getting served with the divorce complaint, from her collaborative lawyer, a couple of weeks later just through a little more gas on the fire.

Anyway, I digress...

Sometime shortly after the divorce was finalized, the attorneys paid off and the assets split, I burned this playlist.  This is for you Marie.....

1.  I Can't Tell You Why-The Eagles

I still can't tell you why things ended the way they did .  As the song says sometimes we make things harder than they need to be.  Was what we had and what could be not worth fighting for? Is life better without me?  You caused a lot of pain to me and your family.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6yyWKzPBCM&feature=kp


2. Wild World-Cat Stevens

It is a wild and dangerous world out there.  Some people and things are not what they appear to be.  Who has your back?  It is good when someone has your back..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_0U3DlLFSU


3.  Like a Rolling Stone-Bob Dyland

Once upon a time you looked so fine.......  Now you don't seem so proud.  How does it feel?  You never turned around to see the frowns when the jugglers and the clowns did tricks for you. Tell me, how does it feel?.  Like a rolling stone?

 http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/bob-dylan-goes-interactive-in-like-a-rolling-stone-clip-20131119

4.  I Need to know - Tom Petty

Breaking up and moving out by email is never a good idea. I deserved better.after 26 years of marriage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uroKI4lWuT8&feature=kp

5. One - Johnny Cash

A great heartbreak song.  Love, it leaves you if you don't care for it.  Did I ask too much?  All you have is hurt.  Several versions of this song, but this is the most heart wrenching.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQIrxhNkiAs


6. Lyin" Eyes - The Eagles

You are not quite as clever and sneaky as you think you are.  Your lover knows when you are not there.  But I really did not think you would go as far as you did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=S67CTVVv3KQ


7. Glory Days -Bruce Springsteen

The best years are behind you.  Back in the day you could turn all the boys heads.  Time slips away and leaves you with nothing.  Now you are looking and acting more like your mother every day.  Not in a good way.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vQpW9XRiyM&feature=player_detailpage

8. Modern Lover - The Last Town Chorus

Not my favorite song on the disk.  I think my point is that modern love appears transient.  That is not a good thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAypnmdiCEk&feature=player_detailpage

9.  Sitting, Waiting, Wishing -Jack Johnson

Loving someone does not make them love you.  Must I always be playing your fool?  I can't and won't always be waiting on you.  If I was in your position I would put down my ammunition.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Ffgsf3pqaD8

10.  Back 2 Good - Matchbox Twenty

It is sad but there is a point of no return and then you cannot get something back to good.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=DoipLR-QMdM

11.  Rolling in the Deep - Adele

Baby, we could have had it all.......or not

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw&feature=player_detailpage

12.  Love Interruption - Jack White

Another great heartbreak song.  Is the lesson that love is painful?  Raw and gut wrenching

.https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=iErNRBTPbEc

13. Stand by Your Man - Tammy Wynette

Probably too sexist but I think I would still like the song if was titled Stand by your Woman. .  Concept seems simple.  I always tried, did you?  Was I so unworthy that it was not worth the effort?  Or is the grass greener?  Somehow I doubt it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwBirf4BWew&feature=player_detailpage

14.  All the Best - Naomi Ashley

A great John Prine song.  Never fall in love with someone like you.  Your heart gets bored and it changes you.  It is hard to wish you the best.  Karma is a bitch.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=j7_hazCkbQs

Further On Up the Road - Johnny Cash

The road is dark, the miles are marked with  the blood and the gold.  I will meet you further on up the road.  Someday, somewhere we will meet again, or not.  Johnny Cash turns this Springsteen song into a gut wrencher.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3sNHiu_FsU&feature=player_detailpage


I did deliver this CD to Marie.  I think I included it a box of stuff.  She did acknowledge it and sent me an email simply stating through the blood and the gold she will see me further on up the road.





.

Quotes of the Day

"I drink too much beer, I have too much sex, and I put too many miles on my motorcycle." Said no one, ever.

 

Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings -- that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.

Buddha

80 signs you may be an INTJ

http://www.buzzfeed.com/newu1671/80-signs-youre-an-intj-cz0z

1. You feel like an alien visiting a distant planet

it’s equal parts amusing and disenchanting.

2. You didn’t have to look up disenchanting just now

because you read the same way alcoholics binge and verbosity is a given.

3. Meta-judging

Either you get it or you don’t.

4. The prospect of research gets you excited

Bring the knowledge!

5. Delusional people bring out your misanthropy

I refuse to believe anything which could make you bliss out so will end well.

6. You come across as aloof on first meeting

or every meeting.

7. Since appeals to emotion leave you cold

Why should I invest in this with feelings? Give me reasons, dammit!

8. You have a secret rebellious streak

enticed by possibility. Blame the N.

9. You have immutable principles

owing to your somewhat broader perspective.

10. You’re blunt when you respect someone

and sharper when you do not.

11. You habitually converse in layers of sarcasm, lofty reference and riddle

to duly note whom appreciates it.

12. Your pet peeve in others is incompetency

and you abhor the phrase ‘pet peeve’. 
You can be cruel to those you perceive as imbeciles or wilfully ignorant.

13. You keep expectations low and downgrade accordingly

Yes, non-INTJs, you read that correctly.

14. Your pragmatism can be scary to sensualists

“What do you mean, how?”

15. When you decide on a course you are unwavering

To the point of insanity.

16. You are hasty in doling out consequences

Perhaps too hasty.

17. You have a low tolerance for the norm

Learn to deal a bit.

18. You experiment with social taboos to see what will happen

Curb that shit. Don’t tell me you can’t, liar.

19. At least try to be less smug about the fallout

Visibly smug?

20. Disrupting formal groups for personal amusement isn’t good for your career

You’re going to ignore that, aren’t you?

21. Suffice to say you’re a bad influence

From the perspective of the other guy.

22. Your truly losing an argument is the stuff of legend

Riddle me this: Why do people start them regardless? You enjoy them as a learning process and your pride won’t allow you to back down.

23. “Technically-“

Watch them run out of good points and make with the insults.
I must go upright and vital and speak the rude truth in all ways. ~ Emerson

24. Finding a point of agreement in a discussion is buried treasure for you

Mutual recognition feels!

25. This systematic approach gives you an uncanny ability to resolve conflicts

26. You almost never use it for that

AU fun ftw.
Non-INTJ translation: I wonder what would happen if I didn’t intervene?

27. Your history is kinda mysterious

and it’s bloody staying that way.

28. At parties

Weirdly, especially when you love those present.

29. But you can rock a corner

The better to watch you in.

30. Small talk is an endurance sport

This is why we avoid meeting new people.

31. “What have you been reading?”

The entire list?

32. You never look embarassing somehow

even falling over or silly dancing look like a knowing injoke. 
Is it savoir faire? Sprezzatura? Éclat?

33. Your thinking face looks angry

34. Your angry face looks serene

35. You have an incredibly long fuse with a bomb at the end

Must I at length the Sword of Justice draw?
Oh curst Effects of necessary Law!
How ill my Fear they by my Mercy scan,
Beware the Fury of a Patient Man. ~ John Dryden

36. Consequently, people find you hard to read

37. Your business face ensures no one tries to fuck with you

The word evil has been applied to it at least once.

38. You snatch victory from the jaws of defeat

39. You can pass for charismatic

It eventually wears down with your patience.

40. You obsessively admire and respect true intelligence

and search for elements of their method to incorporate into your own plans.

41. You are forthright in conceding your expertise

which can make you appear arrogant but if asked respectfully, you’re equally forthright in conceding knowledge gaps.

42. You demand respect for your expertise

Attempts to humiliate you by insisting you pass impromptu interrogation will result in abrupt humiliating and instructive traumatizing of the crude idiot.

43. How do you make an INTJ enemy?

Underestimate them.

INTJs can become ruthlessly Machiavellian when they feel their intellect is unappreciated, their loved ones are threatened or wronged.

44. You are a quick thinker and find slowing down for other’s benefit tedious

yet going through the motions make you appear mercurial and irritated.

45. There are times …

with irrational protocols…

with self-contradictors…

with misinformed moralizers…

with politically-motivated scientism fans…

with magical thinkers…

and people who cannot see the consequences of their ideas

Their evidence-denying hypocrisy makes you shut down, cut them off and retreat somewhere you can recover from the contaminating force of their stupidity in peace. To an untrained eye, this makes you the bad guy.

46. People ask your advice constantly

47. The things you predict constantly come true

because they ignored you.

48. You treat these people with contempt forever after

49. Your mind is an endless source of entertainment

My mind to me a kingdom is;
Such present joys therein I find,
That it excels all other bliss
That earth affords or grows by kind:
Though much I want that most would have,
Yet still my mind forbids to crave. ~ Sir Edward Dyer

50. You have a slightly addictive personality

51. You have numerous creative outlets

At least one work is a parody.

52. Your close friends know to steer you away from bookshops

53. You believe rationality is the key to the universe

54. You perceive the world as a sequence of interlocking systems

each with its own delicious rules

and you devour details when calculating something specific

55. You are a natural-born optimizer

56. You’re on a quest to tinker with and transform the world

Been shifting around all the variables and yup, we should just make you Master of the Universe.

57. You pull off daring moves

58. You know Life is a game of strategy

and spoiler: even when you win, you die.

59. You give up blending

when you realize the people you’re emulating are equally clueless.

60. You perceive the profundity of the mundane

and can dredge the truth from completely contrary sources of information.

61. Your sense of fun seems bizarre to outsiders

62. You have apathy where offense usually is

Why waste the energy?

63. You apply your brains to lazy ends

64. When you like something you observe it

This may have disturbing consequences if you like a person.

65. You avoid deepening relationships without good reason

This concerns well-meaning non-INTJ friends.

66. Being in love terrifies you

You have more red flags than a bull tamer.

67. As does the merest prospect of emotional dependence

68. Your sensitive disposition is constantly on the lookout for rejection

Sincere flattery is greatly appreciated and repaid in kind with interest.

69. You become formal and polite when hurt in public

shrinking back into your mind’s sanctuary to tend your wounds. 
You never let it show.

70. You go quiet and become hesitant when hurt in private

trying to deduce the superior course of reaction. 
Your pride will stubbornly refuse to allow other proof of injury and redouble efforts to push away the offending person, never to be forgiven again.

71. When you trust someone, silence is golden

We don’t need to talk the entire time. 
If you promise to keep a secret, you will take it to your grave.

72. Your closest friends have passed a list of secret tests

73. Your close friends = Friends who have seen you cry

74. Duty is something you sign up for or rebel against

There is no middle ground. Intensely devoted or intensely repulsed.

75. You resent being controlled above all else

76. You’re overjoyed to find precise answers

77. When INTJs find a perfect solution

78. You relish having the last word or lasting impression

79. You’re difficult to impress

It surprises you when it happens.

80. You enjoyed the INTJ-indulgent length of this list

You have the strong temptation to fact-check/correct

I don’t mind.