Still Watching the Wheels. 100 posts

100 posts.  A milestone of some arbitrary number.

Some posts were borne from anger, some from reflection and thought, and some are random and perhaps strange but amuse me.

Some highlights and lowlights:

Spouse moved out without warning and sent me an email advising of same.  Took the youngest son with her.  Pretty traumatic.  Similar to a death in the household.  Suddenly, my friend, lover and confidant is no longer there.  Gone, not coming back.  Pretty quiet and lonely.  Correction, too quiet and lonely.

I found out that the sweet, unpretentious,  girl I married and exchanged vows with 27 years ago had somehow turned into a cheating mercenary.  Pretty scandalous and pretty stupid if you ask me.  Don’t shit where you eat.  The person you divorce is not the person you marry.  I could have done without the lying, cheating and stealing.  Perhaps we could have salvaged some sort of relationship.

I went through a divorce.  I got to deal with the court system and lawyers.  None of this collaborative divorce stuff for us.  $50,000 later it was a complete success.  She spent twice as much as I did on her super-lawyer.  The money would have made a nice down payment on a vacation home.

I discovered I had coronary artery disease.  I have kind of suspected for years but never quite connected the angina to CAD.  It took three cath operations but I got it fixed.  It is a relief.  As James Brown might say, I feel good!

The family dynamics have substantially changed.  I sense their disappointment.  The children have little interaction with their mother.  There are no more family holidays.  That used to be a mostly enjoyable production.  I am not inclined to put on the façade of Christmas.  Thomas is gone anyway.

My son joined the Marines.  He has learned warrior skills and how to swear.   I do not expect him to return to Cincinnati.  He has matured.  I hope he survives.

My father suddenly died.   Trees kill.   We were pretty close and enjoyed each other’s company.  He was a smart, private, overly organized man who was always working on projects to improve his surroundings.  He was a good man and decent to his core.  I saw him hooked to the machines and waited for any sign of a positive response.  There was none.  I watched him die.  I was pleased at the outpouring of support at the funeral and at the house.  I am sorry that I made his life difficult as a teenager.

I got promoted!  I am making more than I ever did.  Surviving pretty well by my lonesome.

Lot’s of time to think, to reflect and explore new ideas.

I received support from many good friends and family.  I think that support is what makes life worth living (sometimes).  Without family and friends it can be a lonely world.  So sorry that has not quite worked out like you planned Marie.

I have dined at some great restaurants.  I have been enjoyed some great concerts.  I have met interesting people.  I fear that I am turning into a hipster or a metrosexual (just kidding).

Acquired some pretty cool toys.  I like toys.  I like my new motorcycle and corvette.  I like my mancave.  I have big plans on what to do with the house.

I like my house and the proximity to the woods and walking trail.  A little silly for one person but the payments are low.

I took some pretty cool trips.  More trips to come.

A new slogan.  “Because I can………….”  The possibilities are pretty wide open.

In the meantime, I am doing time and watching the wheels……  100 more?

 

Watching the Wheels

People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing,
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin,
When I say that I'm o.k. they look at me kind of strange,
Surely you’re not happy now you no longer play the game,

People say I'm lazy dreaming my life away,
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me,
When I tell that I'm doing Fine watching shadows on the wall,
Don't you miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball?

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round,
I really love to watch them roll,
No longer riding on the merry-go-round,
I just had to let it go,

People asking questions lost in confusion,
Well I tell them there's no problem,
Only solutions,
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind,
I tell them there's no hurry...
I'm just sitting here doing time,

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round,
I really love to watch them roll,