Email wars

I have been having some email wars with the ex-wife.  She is in a tizzy that her new husband is not invited.  Some of them have been quite nasty.  She has called my mother, girlfriend, friends and my aunt. 


Cheaters, I hate them.  As well as home wreckers and people that cannot foresee consequences.

 

This email from me was nicer and more reflective.  Her response is that she is not paying for anything associated with the wedding.

 

Marie,

 A couple of points on your arguments.  As you know, life is full of choices, options and consequences.  Some work out better than others.  We move on and choose who we want to associate with.

 I do care very much about our sons.  Being accused of being rude to your dishonorable husband is not an argument that will garner any sympathy from me.  He had no respect for my marriage.  Adultery and coveting thy neighbor’s wife will do that to me.  Call me old fashioned.   Now I should feel badly about his or your marital happiness?  Please try another argument.  He locked in a nice nurse with a fat purse.

 Barb is very sweet.  Probably better than I deserve.  Calling her 91 year old father and sending emails at 5:49 a.m.  does not help your cause.  She would like to stay out of it as she has already heard too many Marie stories.

 I have told Claire and Hannah that I will help in any way.  I will reach out again.  I suspect that Claire would not be quite so devastated if it was she that caused the destruction of her husband’s marriage.  I think the way most people do it is that they start dating before they are married or after they are divorced.

 I did reach out to Thomas on some other issues.  He had me look over a lease.  I think we prevented a Craig’s list scam at his expense.  I also inquired if there was some room for compromise.  He was direct in his response: “we have discussed this, he is not coming”.  So that is the latest.

 I pick my fights with Thomas and I am not going to fight for Ray’s or your happiness.  I had some thoughts about a possible compromise but we never got there.

 I have had time to reflect.  I agree that the destruction of our marriage will have consequences for our sons and their views on women and marriage. That makes me sad.  I do not know how to fix that.  I have supported David and Thomas the best I can and will continue to do so.  I will also support Hannah.  I am quite capable of being happy and perhaps even interesting or charming.  I do know this; the thought of being around Ray does not make me happy. As I think you have acknowledged, I never got a chance to try to fix things with you.  I have moved on from you as well.

As I have mentioned before, how you manage your relationship with our sons is your business.  I am sorry that relationship has suffered.  I am not sure they approve of some of your choices.